some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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