ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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