I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
