It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
