We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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