would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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