i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
