mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Where is the hickey?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
