Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
