Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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