Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
