I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
