Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
