If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
