i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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