He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
