I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize