So drunk, too bad you don't want this
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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