I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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