dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
