we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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