I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize