They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
