he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
