I checked into jail on foursquare
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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