Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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