My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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