last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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