the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
