none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just pee around me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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