I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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