but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
