I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
