Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
