Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize