Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
