P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
