May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
