nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize