I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize