Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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