I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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