It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize