True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
