it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize