All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
