Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
