yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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