i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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