i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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