Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
