I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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