So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
