You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
