the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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