All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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