who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
