Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
