I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
