I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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