Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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