smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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