YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
