Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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