Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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