Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
