I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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