Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You made out with two different species that night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
