I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
