I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
