Life is so much better after having sex.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
