just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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