I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
