I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize